Fight Hype - Grand Prix 21

[~ The Hype Train ~]

It's already that time again folks. While I have tried to keep this undercover for so long, eventually my wife figured it out and here we are. She asked me if I also killed people, which I have, but only bad people. Either way, I did have a good week considering I made her potential affair-partner piss his pants and he confessed to having a tiny penis. So, you know, not too shabby.

ROUND 1

I want to do things a little bit differently. Instead of hyping you up for a certain fighter and his title defense or whatever the fuck it is that I am supposed to be doing in these things, I want to actually look at team's records and fighter records and determine who really is the best team going into the Grand Prix. Then we can look at who they are facing off against and see if someone will do the tango, or if someone will go bango, capeesh?

Here we go.

1. Sandmen vs. 8. King's Poison

Heavyweight Bout: Mirko Cro Cop vs. Kevin Randleman 
Middleweight Bout: Ben Askren vs. Johny Hendricks
Lightweight Bout: Demetrious Johnson vs. T.J. Dillashaw
Women's Bout: Gina Carano vs. Germaine de Randamie
Openweight Bout: Anderson Silva vs. Frank Mir

Time to Break it Down:

Records This Season:

Cro Cop (5-1) vs. Randleman (2-1)
Askren (2-1) vs. Hendricks (3-1)
Johnson (2-2) vs. Dillashaw (2-1)
Carano (4-1) vs. de Randamie (4-2)
Silva (5-1) vs. Mir (2-1)

Sandmen Record: (18-6) Win% = 75  VS. Poison Record: (13-6) Win% = 68
Consensus: Sandmen

Let's face it, both teams have good men. I had a good man once, and he nearly hit me with a van when I slid down a mountain side. Cold as hell day out too, fucking ruined my good suit.

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2. Texas Rattlesnakes vs. 7. The Rocketmen

Heavyweight Bout: Fabricio Werdum vs. Forrest Griffin
Middleweight Bout: Nick Diaz vs. Rich Franklin
Lightweight Bout: Cody Garbrandt vs. Yves Edwards
Women's Bout: Rose Namajunas vs. Sarah Kaufman
Openweight Bout: Andrei Arlovski vs. (SF) Stipe Miocic

Time to Break it Down:

Records This Season:

Werdum (2-1) vs. Griffin (1-2)
Diaz (3-1) vs. Franklin (2-2)
Garbrandt (3-2) vs. Edwards (0-3)
Namajunas (3-2) vs. Kaufman (2-2)
Arlovski (3-2) vs. Miocic (4-1)

Rattlesnakes Record: (14-8) Win% = 63 VS. Rocketmen Record: (9-10) Win% = 47
Consensus: Rattlesnakes

How in the fuck did Rocketmen even make it into the Grand Prix, and why the fuck would he put two fighters with even 2-2 records and one piece of shit flake who didn't even do a god damn thing? Reminds me of that time one of my partners tried to take out a nuclear warhead by hiding a pistol inside a video camera. Get the fuck out of here. These guys are lucky they aren't facing the 1st and 8th ranked team. Yeah. 8th ranked team has a better win % going into this with the selected fighters than the 2nd ranked team. What in the actual fuck guys? Navel lint.

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3. The Killing Joke vs. 6. The Mighty Ducks

Heavyweight Bout: Mark Hunt vs. Gary Goodridge
Middleweight Bout: Douglas Lima vs. Robbie Lawler
Lightweight Bout: Shinya Aoki vs. Joachim Hansen
Women's Bout: Julia Budd vs. Cynthia Calvillo
Openweight Bout: Jon Jones vs. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira

Time to Break it Down:

Records This Season:

Hunt (3-1) vs. Goodridge (2-2)
Lima (2-1) vs. Lawler (3-2)
Aoki (3-1) vs. Hansen (1-2)
Budd (1-2) vs. Calvillo (3-1)
Jones (3-2) vs. Little Nog (2-1)

Killing Joke Record: (12-7) Win% = 63 VS. Mighty Ducks Record: (11-8) Win% = 58
Consensus: Killing Joke

What is with teams submitting guys with losing records? You don't bid on a loser. Same thing happened to me with wife number two, remember? I have no idea nothing's going on, right? I come home one day and the house is empty, and I mean completely empty. She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ICE CUBE trays out of the FREEZER?

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4. Lord Byron's Conquistadors vs. 5. Team Ground & Pound

Heavyweight Bout: Bas Rutten vs. Fedor Emelianenko
Middleweight Bout: Josh Koscheck vs. Diego Sanchez
Lightweight Bout: Conor McGregor vs. Michael Chandler
Women's Bout: Claudia Gadelha vs. Liz Carmouche
Openweight Bout: Kimbo Slice vs. Rashad Evans

Time to Break it Down:

Records This Season:

Rutten (3-1) vs. Fedor (2-1)
Koscheck (1-2) vs. Sanchez (3-1)
McGregor (2-2) vs. Chandler (2-2)
Gadelha (1-2) vs. Carmouche (4-1)
Slice (1-2) vs. Evans (2-2)

Conquistadors Record: (8-9) Win% = 47 VS. Ground & Pound Record: (13-7) Win% = 65
Consensus: Team GAP

Look at this shit. Just look at it. The 5th ranked team has a higher win % everyone else aside from the 1st and 8th place team. What kind of bullshit is this? This is crazier than that time I watched my wife get tricked by a fake double agent who took her to a fucking coffee place and told her that sometimes a story's a mask for a covert operation. Claimed he killed two men in a restroom and two unidentified men in a running shootout ending at the Marriot. What a sack of shit. That was me, dammit. Me! I did that. Ah fuck. It's like my grandfather always told me, "This is the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules."

[The Rocketmen]

I am apparently the worst team going into the Grand Prix lol

[The Texas Rattlesnakes]

Jul 20, 2018 14:34:36 GMT -5 The Rocketmen said:

I am apparently the worst team going into the Grand Prix lol

Byron's is also 47%

[The Texas Rattlesnakes]

So GAPs name stands for Ground and Pound? I thought it stood for gay and proud, but never mind that, I still look at you the same GAP... as for us Rattlesnakes... this is our fourth consecutive GP appearance, and the team has never made it past the 1st round. We're a bunch of registered choke artists.

[xx - Team GAP]

Jul 20, 2018 16:47:11 GMT -5 The Texas Rattlesnakes said:

So GAPs name stands for Ground and Pound? I thought it stood for gay and proud, but never mind that, I still look at you the same GAP... as for us Rattlesnakes... this is our fourth consecutive GP appearance, and the team has never made it past the 1st round. We're a bunch of registered choke artists.

if you do get past 1st round and if I get past 1st round. i hope we face each other.. id love to put a fist in your face.

[The Texas Rattlesnakes]

Jul 20, 2018 22:30:33 GMT -5 xx - Team GAP said:

Jul 20, 2018 16:47:11 GMT -5 The Texas Rattlesnakes said:

So GAPs name stands for Ground and Pound? I thought it stood for gay and proud, but never mind that, I still look at you the same GAP... as for us Rattlesnakes... this is our fourth consecutive GP appearance, and the team has never made it past the 1st round. We're a bunch of registered choke artists.

if you do get past 1st round and if I get past 1st round. i hope we face each other.. id love to put a fist in your face.

Your team isn't very intimidating

[xx - Camp Cannon]

consensus cannons top 5 wold still would win even tho his season record was shiet

[The Sandmen]

Jul 20, 2018 22:54:52 GMT -5 xx - Camp Cannon said:

consensus cannons top 5 wold still would win even tho his season record was shiet

This is why GP is delightfully hard. You have to actually MAKE the Grand Prix. Regardless of how good your top 5 are, it's all irrelevant if the rest of your team is neglected trash that brings you down.

Grand Prix is like the most gruelling test of well-rounded, combined with high elites. Kinda like real NHL or something. You probably need a superstar or two, but your depth matters as well, or you will be thoroughly wiped.

[xx - Former Phoenix Fight Club]

Jul 20, 2018 23:57:33 GMT -5 The Sandmen said:

This is why GP is delightfully hard. You have to actually MAKE the Grand Prix. Regardless of how good your top 5 are, it's all irrelevant if the rest of your team is neglected trash that brings you down.

Grand Prix is like the most gruelling test of well-rounded, combined with high elites. Kinda like real NHL or something. You probably need a superstar or two, but your depth matters as well, or you will be thoroughly wiped.

lol Well the irony of you saying this as oppose to anyone else doesn't escape either though Sandman. 😜 I mean when was the last time your team missed the GP?

Every season is relatively different to a point, but it all depends on the match ups your fighters get and how they're performances are as well. Edwards was a champion 2 seasons ago and this season he went 0-3. Plus with how many teams we've dispersed and will be dispersing, that changes things too. My team had a relatively good season, but it was (and usually is) having TOO Much depth that ends up hurting me at the end of the season. That's the price you pay sometimes for having a slightly larger roster size and taking back your donaton fighters.

[xx - Team GAP]

Jul 20, 2018 22:50:46 GMT -5 The Texas Rattlesnakes said:

Jul 20, 2018 22:30:33 GMT -5 xx - Team GAP said:

if you do get past 1st round and if I get past 1st round. i hope we face each other.. id love to put a fist in your face.

Your team isn't very intimidating

then fight my team.

[The Texas Rattlesnakes]

Jul 21, 2018 10:10:47 GMT -5 xx - Team GAP said:

Jul 20, 2018 22:50:46 GMT -5 The Texas Rattlesnakes said:

Your team isn't very intimidating

then fight my team.

If we dont see each other in this GP, we can have an exhibition GP next season just between us.

[The Sandmen]

Jul 21, 2018 9:44:24 GMT -5 xx - Former Phoenix Fight Club said:

Jul 20, 2018 23:57:33 GMT -5 The Sandmen said:

This is why GP is delightfully hard. You have to actually MAKE the Grand Prix. Regardless of how good your top 5 are, it's all irrelevant if the rest of your team is neglected trash that brings you down.

Grand Prix is like the most gruelling test of well-rounded, combined with high elites. Kinda like real NHL or something. You probably need a superstar or two, but your depth matters as well, or you will be thoroughly wiped.

lol Well the irony of you saying this as oppose to anyone else doesn't escape either though Sandman. 😜 I mean when was the last time your team missed the GP?

Exactly my point. I do the things I am talking about.

When you upgrade well, and maintain a team of well-upgraded, polished fighters, you make the GP. If you keep doing it, you will keep making the Grand Prix on a consistent basis.

Bullies was a perennial top 3 team until he stopped upgrading and maintaining his team. Rattlesnakes is an elite team because he upgrades well, polishes, and maintains his team.

IF YOU UPGRADE WELL, POLISH, AND MAINTAIN, YOU WILL CONSISTENTLY MAKE THE GRAND PRIX.

Having 12 project fighters that require high maintenance to compete with the GoaTs does not help your chances of being a GP team.

[The Rocketmen]

Yeah, having "depth" doesn't mean having a larger roster than others, it means I can replace a Rich Franklin with a Robbie Lawler, that type of deal (not talking about my own roster, just giving an example).

For a hockey reference, this was the 2008 Maple Leafs.

Ponikarovsky - Stajan - Antropov
Hagman - Moore - Blake
Kulemin - Grabovski - Stempniak
May - Mitchell - Mayers

Kaberle - Schenn
Kubina - White
Frogren - Finger

Toskala
Joseph

Now, just because they had 4 lines doesn't mean they had depth. They just had enough guys to be 4 lines. This team was fucking terrible. Now, the Leafs can let an entire "decent to good" line of players walk to free agency (Bozak, JVR and Komarov) and replace them with kids and potentially be better (Johnsson, Kapanen, etc.) THAT is depth.

[xx - Former Phoenix Fight Club]

Jul 21, 2018 16:08:46 GMT -5 The Sandmen said:

Jul 21, 2018 9:44:24 GMT -5 xx - Former Phoenix Fight Club said:

lol Well the irony of you saying this as oppose to anyone else doesn't escape either though Sandman. 😜 I mean when was the last time your team missed the GP?

Exactly my point. I do the things I am talking about.

When you upgrade well, and maintain a team of well-upgraded, polished fighters, you make the GP. If you keep doing it, you will keep making the Grand Prix on a consistent basis.

Bullies was a perennial top 3 team until he stopped upgrading and maintaining his team. Rattlesnakes is an elite team because he upgrades well, polishes, and maintains his team.

IF YOU UPGRADE WELL, POLISH, AND MAINTAIN, YOU WILL CONSISTENTLY MAKE THE GRAND PRIX.

Having 12 project fighters that require high maintenance to compete with the GoaTs does not help your chances of being a GP team.

Actually you don't really. You sit there on your laurels more often than not, just like Bullies did, and still end up at the top of the league every fucking season. Comes down to who and what YOU deem as "upgrading well" or who you think the "GoAt" fighters are. I don't have 12 project fighters, I never have... But even taking your advice on upgrades, has garnered little to no better results than what I was doing on my own. I do upgrade and polish and I'm still a bubble team cuz of the size my roster has ended up at, not because all my fighters suck.

[The Sandmen]

If you upgraded as I do, rather than how you do, you would be in the Grand Prix. My results speak for themselves. Also, I gave Austin the same fundamental "Upgrading 101 Course" I gave you, and he and his friends are doing great.

So. Again. It comes down to upgrading well.

Upgrade better and you will be in the GP.