Tim Sylvia's Thousand Faces of Disappointment PART 2
May 24, 2017 14:35:40 GMT -5
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Post by The Rocketmen on May 24, 2017 14:35:40 GMT -5
PART 2
1. Sylvia Upset, Shoves Man's Head in his Ass - Disappointment Factor: 2/10
There aren't a lot of things I know about this world, but Tim Sylvia is notorious for getting disappointed and making someone smell his farts. But what could spark this sudden disappointment? He's clearly raced down to the local golf course, sweating like a bastard, and just as he arrived he noticed he forgot his clubs AND his golf gear. What a shitty day, right guy behind Sylvia in photograph?
2. Tim at Fight: Before or After is Unknown, Probably Both - Disappointment Factor: 3.5/10
When Tim sits to contemplate life and his fight, he unfortunately falls into a horrible depression. Here, he is asking himself "is life really worth it?" And he wants us to know if we see how much he is suffering. He blocks out the F in UFC, thus unearthing a subliminal question "U-C?" Yes, Tim. We DO C.
3. Tim is Asked a Question, Tim's Brain Explodes Thinking of an Answer - Disappointment Factor: 5/10
This is mere seconds before his head erupts and destroys everything around him in a five mile radius, but god damn, that jumpsuit is kickin'!
4. Tim Can't Escape his Giant Stature in Public - Disappointment Factor: 7/10
That guy's arms look too big to be a midget. Seems more like a dude kneeling to make Tim look big. But we already know Tim is a tall dude, but here we have a guy fucking with Tim to make him feel even more uncomfortable with his height. Tim, as you can see, wants nothing to do with this shit. He just wants to buy his rubber boots and go the fuck home where he can wear them in his kitchen while he eats his own frozen tears.
5. Tim Doesn't Know What Hands Are For - Disappointment Factor: 8/10
Pretty straight forward. Tim announced on social media he would make a public appearance to determine, once and for all, exactly what his hands are for. People showed up, as you can see in the background, and as promised, there's Tim in focus, staring at his hands, ready to unleash the truth upon the world... his truth.
6. Tim Posing and Giving Exactly Zero Fucks - Disappointment Factor: 8.5/10
I've never seen anyone ever have to flex their muscles and literally have the saddest most miserable expression on their face since I saw that one girl flash the camera in that skeezy porn from the 90s. You know what I'm talking about, Demi. But there Tim is. Out front in the limelight, soaking it up like a dead fish on a patio.
7. Tim Was on the show Blind Date? WTF?! - Disappointment Factor: 1/10
He actually looks pretty pleased. This date must have gone well!
Looks Like Things are looking up! Good for Tim!
Disappointment Factor rising...
Disappointment Factor rising...
Disappointment Factor rising...
Disappointment Factor rising...
Disappointment Factor rising...
Disappontment Factor: 10/10
Nevermind.
Aftermath
I just couldn't figure it out. It seems so bizarre that this dude could lead such an uncomfortably depressing life. What is it?
I decided to do some digging. I check out Tim Sylvia's twitter page to see if maybe he's just constantly fighting with the public over his loss to Randy Couture.
Let's see here...
Oh, oh dear. A Trump supporter. I think I can work this out now for Tim. Look, Tim, trust me, my man, all you gotta do is stay true to you and whatever you do...
NEVER.
EVER.
EVER.
TOUCH.
THE DONALD.
Fuck.
1. Sylvia Upset, Shoves Man's Head in his Ass - Disappointment Factor: 2/10
There aren't a lot of things I know about this world, but Tim Sylvia is notorious for getting disappointed and making someone smell his farts. But what could spark this sudden disappointment? He's clearly raced down to the local golf course, sweating like a bastard, and just as he arrived he noticed he forgot his clubs AND his golf gear. What a shitty day, right guy behind Sylvia in photograph?
2. Tim at Fight: Before or After is Unknown, Probably Both - Disappointment Factor: 3.5/10
When Tim sits to contemplate life and his fight, he unfortunately falls into a horrible depression. Here, he is asking himself "is life really worth it?" And he wants us to know if we see how much he is suffering. He blocks out the F in UFC, thus unearthing a subliminal question "U-C?" Yes, Tim. We DO C.
3. Tim is Asked a Question, Tim's Brain Explodes Thinking of an Answer - Disappointment Factor: 5/10
This is mere seconds before his head erupts and destroys everything around him in a five mile radius, but god damn, that jumpsuit is kickin'!
4. Tim Can't Escape his Giant Stature in Public - Disappointment Factor: 7/10
That guy's arms look too big to be a midget. Seems more like a dude kneeling to make Tim look big. But we already know Tim is a tall dude, but here we have a guy fucking with Tim to make him feel even more uncomfortable with his height. Tim, as you can see, wants nothing to do with this shit. He just wants to buy his rubber boots and go the fuck home where he can wear them in his kitchen while he eats his own frozen tears.
5. Tim Doesn't Know What Hands Are For - Disappointment Factor: 8/10
Pretty straight forward. Tim announced on social media he would make a public appearance to determine, once and for all, exactly what his hands are for. People showed up, as you can see in the background, and as promised, there's Tim in focus, staring at his hands, ready to unleash the truth upon the world... his truth.
6. Tim Posing and Giving Exactly Zero Fucks - Disappointment Factor: 8.5/10
I've never seen anyone ever have to flex their muscles and literally have the saddest most miserable expression on their face since I saw that one girl flash the camera in that skeezy porn from the 90s. You know what I'm talking about, Demi. But there Tim is. Out front in the limelight, soaking it up like a dead fish on a patio.
7. Tim Was on the show Blind Date? WTF?! - Disappointment Factor: 1/10
He actually looks pretty pleased. This date must have gone well!
Looks Like Things are looking up! Good for Tim!
Disappointment Factor rising...
Disappointment Factor rising...
Disappointment Factor rising...
Disappointment Factor rising...
Disappointment Factor rising...
Disappontment Factor: 10/10
Nevermind.
Aftermath
I just couldn't figure it out. It seems so bizarre that this dude could lead such an uncomfortably depressing life. What is it?
I decided to do some digging. I check out Tim Sylvia's twitter page to see if maybe he's just constantly fighting with the public over his loss to Randy Couture.
Let's see here...
Oh, oh dear. A Trump supporter. I think I can work this out now for Tim. Look, Tim, trust me, my man, all you gotta do is stay true to you and whatever you do...
NEVER.
EVER.
EVER.
TOUCH.
THE DONALD.
Fuck.
Have 9 points in celebration of this monumental achievement!