Fight Hype - ManMMA 416
Jul 5, 2018 14:29:05 GMT -5
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Post by ~ The Hype Train ~ on Jul 5, 2018 14:29:05 GMT -5
ManMMA 416 - FIGHT HYPE
It's been a while. Like, a long time. I got injured, acquired a bad case of hepatitis and now I am back. Life happens. Just like that time I caught my neighbour calling my wife at inappropriate hours, and showing off just how great of a father he is by getting his son the latest action figure for Christmas. Sure, I could've planned ahead and got him the toy he's been begging for over the last year, but maybe my kid needs to learn a little bit about greed. That didn't stop me from fighting a reindeer and destroying a local parade, but sometimes the sacrifice of proving you're not a horrible parent is worth it. So fuck you, Ted Maltin. Find your own family. So anyways...
Middleweight Championship
Anthony Johnson (37-16) vs. Jason Miller (9-12)
Anthony Johnson (37-16) vs. Jason Miller (9-12)Anthony Johnson is the middleweight champ. Why? Because he knocked out Lyoto Machida back at ManMMA 396. He's defended the title 7 times since then. 7 times. Seriously. He's had the title for 20 cards and this will be the 8th time he's put it on the line. In that run, Johnson murdered Rich Franklin, punched Vitor's face off his head, uppercut Cung Le into an acting career, flicked Chris Leben back to rehab, sent Gegard crying to Scott Coker's apartment, and put a muzzle on Thiago Alves. And now, he fights Jason Miller? THE Jason Miller? The Jason Miller that once had a nervous breakdown and barricaded himself inside a church? This is awesome! I can't wait to see Miller barricade himself inside the octagon, strip naked and throw paint through the cage until Johnson hops over and lands on his face, crushing his soul in a vicious instant knockout. Good luck Jason! Godspeed!
Flyweight Championship
Jessica Eye (46-35) vs. 
Megumi Fujii (59-48)
Jessica Eye (46-35) vs. Megumi Fujii (59-48)Hey, cool, Jessica Eye is a champ. Who did she beat? Carla Esparza? Neat. 6 title defences too! Well done, Eye. Haha, that's funny, when you say that out loud, it sounds like I complimented myself, but I didn't, because I'm a terrible father who doesn't deserve to be loved by his family.
Jessica Eye drowned Michelle Waterson, beat down the most boring-name of the division Leslie Smith (seriously, get more creative parents, would ya?), told Zoila Gurgel to find a new translator to read her fist language, TKO'd Esparaza... again... and oh, did the same thing to Waterson too, and then told Cynthia Calvillo to go back to school and get a job. But now, here comes a new challenger. Megumi Fujii. Riding a 3 fight win streak, the always a bridesmaid never a bride submission expert will look to avoid the punishing blows of Jessica Eye. The same way I tried to avoid getting divorced from my wife after she found out I tried to steal a toy from the next door neighbour's kid. Best of luck Fujii!
Lightweight #1 Contender Bout
Demetrious Johnson (32-36) vs. 
Cody Garbrandt (13-4)
Demetrious Johnson (32-36) vs. Cody Garbrandt (13-4)One of these guys will fight and the winner gets a title shot. One time I fought a wrestler dressed as Santa in a strange sweat shop. Was not a good day.
Enjoy the fights!
Enjoy the fights!
Have 9 points in celebration of this monumental achievement!