ManMMA Film Club #7 - I Spit On Your Grave: Deja Vu

[The Sandmen]

I Spit On Your Grave: Deja Vu



This was shit. And not only was it shit, it was long shit.

If you have seen a "I Spit in Your Grave", you have seen them all. They are basic, quick little rape revenge-porn movies, that should be no longer than about 80-90 mins.

The original "I Spit On Your Grave", directed by Meir Zarchi, came out in 1978 (Also called Day of the Woman). It was a cult classic. Then, in 2010, a reboot came about, then 2 more sequels to that reboot. All were adequet sleaze, though, as one would expect, each worse than the next. But a short, concise, 90 mins of bad. Totally stomachable, even if bad.

Then, in 2019, the director of the original is all like, "I'm coming out of hiatus, boyz!" and people are interested. I was interested.

But we did not hear the part where he ran around (possibly with his pants down), screaming "HOLD MY BEER!". Cause hold his beer we did.

I put this flick on. And it's 148 fucking minutes long! Two and a half HOURS. For a cheap revenge-porn movie. Like, are you kidding me? But I was like...maybe bloke knows what he is doing. He started all these after all.


No. He had no fucking clue.

This movie walks the line between shitty-terrible and fun-terrible. It has some moments of fun-terrible (for me, this is things like shit happening for no reason, awkward deus ex machinas that resolve nothing and raise questions, people doing things with no motivation what so ever, like waiting and watching people when they need to do something, etc.). This has some, but not enough that one could enjoy it on a bad movie weekend. But enough that every 40 mins or so, I got an unintended laugh.

Outside of that, you felt every single one of those 148 minutes. Dialogue that went on for 3-5 minutes after the purpose was established, characters doing nothing and us watching them, "character development" of people that don't matter. It was just awful. Just fucking awful.

And afterwards, I walked upstairs, looked in the mirror, and said, "Bro. You have (literally) 1000 DVDs/Blu Rays on your to watch shelf shorter than this mess. Some have been there for 10 years. Some have won Oscars and Palm D'Ors. And this...this is what you just spent 148 minutes of your life doing?"

With a face as red as the blood that was promised, but rarely came, in this mess of a film, I went to bed, and shed a single tear for the 148 minutes of movies I will never get to see, and the 148 minutes of my life that I will never get back.