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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 11, 2016 13:59:38 GMT -5
Moving Pavement: No one likes being a pedestrian, and now you can cross the road without moving a muscle! Bonus: NO CRANK HANDLE!  North-Pole Traveling: A light jacket, some boots and a few zeppelins. Nothing disastrous about that and hey, free polar bears!  Watching a Play Anywhere: Using nothing but the technology of light and a phone. You can literally stream a play, but you have to listen to it through an ear piece? Shitty deal.  |
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 11, 2016 14:03:58 GMT -5
Police X-Ray Vision: Attach device to wall, catch criminals in the act! Not Known: Where the fuck the criminals are.  Weather Control: It's easy. Just cover the entire planet underneath a giant tarp. Tada!  The LCD Ocean Machines: Let's see... floating wheelchair in the top left right next to a bike that rides on water, and a floating flat-bed. And then boats that let you see underwater from the surface. So hey, they predicted glass-bottom boats. Good for them.  |
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 11, 2016 14:13:38 GMT -5
Water Unicycle: Whoever designed this must have bought a lot of stocks in unicycles. Although, judging by this portrait, the dude on the water-unicycle is clearly begging for spare change, and the woman walking on water to his left has her hand on her hip like she's had enough of his shenanigans. Bonus: Boat Shoes.  Weather Train: In the future, you point this at the sky and tell it to fuck off. I like the weather train. Whether they train me on it or not is another question, har har!  |
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Post by The Rocketmen on May 11, 2016 14:56:42 GMT -5
I thought these would be weird, but they're actually quite fascinating. It's neat how obsessed they were with self-flying machines. And now we're all about McFly and his hoverboard lol
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 12, 2016 13:45:58 GMT -5
Three-Legged Chairs: Nothing says "the future" than taking something that works just fine and changing it for literally no god damn reason.  Sky Tennis: It's tennis, but with a weird flying machine. Seriously, they can't get enough of flying machines and crank handles!  Armored Motorcycles: Everyone loves bikes, but what they'd really love is to be able to go on Sons of Anarchy and murder everything while riding behind an indestructible shield.  |
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 12, 2016 13:48:17 GMT -5
Future Fashion: In the future, everyone has long necks and creepy smiles... and yellow pants. Lots of yellow pants.  Future Trains: Basically regular trains with stilts for legs, and then a weird spaceship front. Oh, hey, look, yellow pants AND shoes.  Birding: Where you fish for birds from under water. Yellow pants mandatory.  |
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 12, 2016 13:50:44 GMT -5
Gramaphone: In the future, everyone owns one of these so they can listen to music in their shitty chair with four legs, not them Richie rich's three-legged chairs. You can tell this guy is poor because he doesn't have yellow pants.  Fish Racing: It's the new X-Treme Sport!  Air Mail: They almost got this one right. I expect a lot of deaths from people falling over their stupid balconies.  |
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 12, 2016 13:53:21 GMT -5
Motorized Roller Skates: Who needs these? Me. I need these.  Modern Building: I love that the architect is basically Oz after the curtain was pulled. What an asshole.  Seahorse Military: First of all, you'd have to somehow create seahorses this fucking big. Secondly, you'd have to train them and then third, why?  |
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 12, 2016 13:54:38 GMT -5
Skype: Those fuckers predicted Skype.  |
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Ferocity
Black Belt (5th Degree)
Posts: 3,455
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Post by Ferocity on May 15, 2016 10:32:07 GMT -5
Time has a fun article on 50 failed inventions. Check it out
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 16, 2016 8:11:38 GMT -5
I googled Ferocity suggestion and found lots more stuff, here we go. Flying Tanks: These actually existed but then better planes came along and made them not needed.  Portable Record Player: Came out right before cassettes and compact discs hit the market, and skipped a lot...  Gas-Shooting Riot Car: Giant mobile that could shoot out poisonous gas to get rid of rioters. Never built, but did have a patent... allegedly owned by Hitler.  |
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 16, 2016 8:15:25 GMT -5
Vacuum Beauty Mask: Step 1 - insert head into vacuum bag. Step 2 - beautify. Step 3 not listed: how the fuck do you breathe?  Robot Reading Helper: An arm attached has a timer on when it will move down to reveal another line to aid those who are slow readers. Why it Sucked? Because the robot was built backwards and thus the arm moved down, and had the middle portion continuously in the way of the reader's vision... stupid.  Flying Saucer Camera: Back in the 1950s, there were so many UFO sightings reported each year that the government finally decided enough was enough. The Air Force introduced the Flying Saucer Camera, a special camera with two lenses designed to identify the source of strange lights. One lens took a normal photo while the other separated light into colors so that the origins of the light would be obvious.  |
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 16, 2016 8:18:22 GMT -5
Monowheel Vehicles: Monowheel... monowheel... MONOWHEEL!  Phone Answering Robot: I have no words.  Cigarette Umbrella: When you don't mind getting wet, but want your cigarette dry and don't feel like carrying a human-sized umbrella and... really.. I have no way to explain this design...  |
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 16, 2016 8:32:27 GMT -5
New Coke: Was sweeter and introduced in 1985. People hated it, so they removed the "New" from the can and then had to slap on "Classic" to ensure people were drinking the original after New Coke was canned... so to speak.  Armenian 5 Star Brandy Sword: You drink from the sword, you die by the sword.  |
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Post by The Mighty Ducks on May 16, 2016 8:36:20 GMT -5
Car Exhaust Grill: Drive and Cook at the same time because car flavored burgers are the best burgers. I am positive this will give you cancer.  Air Conditioned Shoes: Just a show with holes in it, so avoid puddles.  Shoe Umbrellas: When you need to keep your shoes dry. Is an excellent stylish companion to the cigarette umbrella.  |
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Have 9 points in celebration of this monumental achievement!